Baby Shower aka Over the Top Extravaganza

So, we had a baby shower on Saturday. I have stressed and stressed and stressed about wanting it to be perfect. I wanted to be sure that my 16 year old knew that we were happy and she should not be ashamed. She decided to have this baby and that was reason to celebrate. Y'all, we celebrated.

Here are some photos of our event:

We had guests sign a matted photo of Peanut's sonogram picture, in lieu of a guest book. We also asked that everyone self address an envelope. In the day of social media, text messaging, and facetiming, we realized there were a lot of mailing addresses we didn't have. And in the south, hand written thank you notes are a must.

The gifts, wow at all the gifts. She got so many and actually no duplicates at all.

As a Thank You to all of our guests, we had cupcakes with a sucker with a "thank you" sticker on it.

  

We used simple milk glass with hydrangeas as the table centerpieces.

 We had a nice spread of quiches, pinwheels, cheese balls, hot dips,crackers, and cucumber sandwiches. The Princesses just had to have cucumber sandwiches.

We had a candy buffet. There are blue Laffy Taffy, because when the Princess is craving something, she just needs it! :)

Of course, there were petifores. What baby shower would be complete without petifores?

The cake, oh wow, the cake! It was wonderful. The top tier was chocolate and the bottom was plain white. It was delicious and beautiful!

This was our center table. I think it turned out beautifully. It was exactly the look we were going for.

Baby Shower Planning

Oh my word! Who would have thought that planning a baby shower could be so many things?? Namely, expensive, stressful, exciting, overwhelming, and a million other emotions all rolled into one. Now, before y’all go all Ms. Manners on me, I know full well that mama isn’t supposed to throw her daughter a baby shower. But, why? Because it’s rude for me to ask for gifts for her??!? But not for someone else to ask for gifts for her?!?!? Y’all, I just went with it. A friend of mine offered to be the “formal” host, but that just seemed pointless and dishonest. Anywho, back to the planning….. here’s a few things I have recently learned that I thought I’d share with you:

• ·       Party favors for guests are a thing now. Who knew? I thought you gave party favors at children’s birthday parties so the other kids didn’t feel left out. Turns out, you give party favors at baby showers now, too.   We are giving these. They are a lot a smaller than I thought, so we are having our cake maker make us cupcakes to put these in them.

• ·         Candy buffets are the “in” thing. I wanted the Princess to have the nicest baby shower ever, so I agreed. 

• ·         Single colored candy is EXPENSIVE. I’m in it over $100 and I’m not even sure it is candy we will eat if there are leftovers. What I am sure of, though, is it matches the theme!! We found that Amazon had the best prices on them. We ordered this and this.

• ·         Things will NOT go perfectly. But, my mom reminds me that I am the only one who will know, so don’t stress.

• ·         We are doing a semi-early baby shower. Peanut is not due to make his appearance until the end of January; however, we are having a shower the beginning of November. I think this will be sure the Princess is still feeling good, and will give her time to get the things she doesn’t receive at the shower in the event Peanut makes an early debut.

• ·         It is so, so, so easy to go overboard. I have wanted to buy so many things for the shower. I’ve tried to use better judgment and use things I have or borrow things from someone I know. The things I have bought, I’ve tried to be sure they are things I can decorate in my own home, or use to decorate Peanut’s room.

Do you have any tips on throwing a baby shower on less than a celebrity budget? I’d love to hear them.

Stay tuned for photos from the shower. I can't wait to share it with y'all.


*Some links in this post are affiliate links. I may receive a commission if you purchase these items; however, it does not affect the price you pay for the products.

The Magic Fades a.k.a. The Prince Turns into a Frog

Normally, I am very realistic when it comes to expectations. I know there are things in life that I can rely on, no matter how much I wish for better situations. Such as:

Super Brother will not clean his room to my standards.
Baller will not clean his room at all.
Princess will clean only a portion of her room, and definitely not the portion that is in the selfies she posts on social media.
I know that snow melts and warm breezes don't last into fall.
I know that puppies turn into dogs, and cute little chickens crap on your patio.

I'm a realist. I've got this. But the fallout between the Princess and the Prince caught me off guard. Mostly, I think because I was in planner, helper, saver mode and somewhere lost my sense of reality. Everyone knows that young love does not often stand the test of time. Then, throw in increased responsibility, immaturity, and a pregnancy, and it's just a recipe for disaster.

Hurtful words were said, ridiculous status were updated (or liked or favorited or whatever they do on the social media it was done on), texts were swapped, and threats were made. It's hard enough wading through a heartbreak with a teenager, but when it is with someone who they are now connected to forever, it's that much more difficult.

Honestly, I don't think they were ever long term relationship bound. They liked each other and they maybe even loved each other, but they were in two seperate places, going in opposite directions. That rarely ever works.

Now, I worry about my little single momma. Now what? Will there be custody and legal fights? Will there be attorneys and court costs? Will she ever trust someone with Peanut? Will anyone ever be good enough for her in my eyes? If they are, will they be good enough for Peanut? Y'all I worry.

It's hard being a parent of a teenager. It's even harder being a parent of a pregnant teenager who broke up with her Prince because after much evaluation, he turned out to be a frog. I want to fix her hurt, and heal her pain. I can't. I've got to let her work through this issue on her own, because that's part of growing up. All I can do, is be there for her and listen as she talks (and suggest she NOT post that on Facebook).

The magic fades, and sometimes a prince turns into a frog. But sometimes, those things are for the best. The reality I see of a young woman determined to be the best mom, supporter, provider, and nurturer there has ever been makes proud. She is ok with doing it by herself, and even the realist in me believes she will succeed beyond even her expectations.

Disclaimer:
The Prince may not actually be a frog. He may, in fact, be a fine Prince. However, he has hurt my Princess, which makes him a royal poo-poo head in my court. I am not saying anyone was right or wrong or the break-up wasn't the best thing for everyone involved. We will continue to insist that everyone be polite to the frog, because he is Peanut's dad. However, we are still allowed to think not nice thoughts when in private. 

Financial Assistance for Teen Moms

Teenage mothers face a multitude of concerns. One of the biggest concerns is the financial responsibility that comes along with raising a child. This can be especially scary for someone who may not even have finished high school. How do you raise a child if you don’t even have a job?

The good news is there are government programs in place to help. Everything from medical care to college assistance is available, if you just know where to look.

The first priority is prenatal care. It is so very important to have regular prenatal checkups. This increases your chances of carrying your baby to term with the least amount of problems. The cost of delivering a baby and regular checkups can be astronomical. Most insurance plans do not cover dependent maternity benefits. This means that even if you are on mom and dad’s insurance, your pregnancy may not be covered.

Medicaid is usually an option. In most states, the income of your parents does not matter if you are 18 or younger. Being pregnant and under 18 are the only qualifications. Medicaid pays for prenatal visits, delivery, and prescriptions. Usually, there is no co-pay (or if there is one, it is less than $10). Even if you have insurance that covers your pregnancy, go ahead and sign up for Medicaid. It will take care of your co-pays and deductibles of your other insurance. It also automatically covers the baby for 1 year.

WIC is another excellent option for pregnant teens. According to its website, “The Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) provides Federal grants to States for supplemental foods, health care referrals, and nutrition education for low-income pregnant, breastfeeding, and non-breastfeeding postpartum women, and to infants and children up to age five who are found to be at nutritional risk.” If you qualify for Medicaid, you automatically qualify for WIC. This allows you to receive food, formula (if you aren’t breastfeeding), and education about nutrition at no cost.

There are other state and federal programs that may be able to help you. Most of these (food stamps, TANF, etc.) are based on income and include everyone in the household’s income. You may not qualify for these programs depending on the amount of income your parents receive. However, when you apply for Medicaid, you can ask for additional information about these programs and your case worker will be happy to help you.

College is another major worry. However, there are many scholarships and grants that can help through this journey. Here is a website that focuses directly on scholarships for single moms.

Hopefully, this helps during this difficult and scary journey. If you have any ideas, please leave a comment for the other readers. 

Amazon Baby Deals Today

Amazon has some pretty sweet baby deals today. Click on over and check them out!

25% or More Off Swings, Jumpers & Bouncers

Fisher-Price Deluxe Newborn Vibrating Rock n' Play Sleeper - List Price $74.99 Only $55.00

How stinkin' cute is this?!? Love it and it ships free with Prime. If you aren't a Prime member yet, and you buy a lot from Amazon, you may want to consider it.

Save up to 35% on Stork Craft

Stork Craft Hoop Glider and Ottoman Set - List Price $199.99 - Only $129.98

Where else can you get a beautiful glider for less than $150 and shipped for free?!?

Here are some other things from Amazon I'm loving today too!

Links in this post are affiliate links. I do get reimbursed if you buy something from Amazon through these links; however, it does not affect the price of the product for you.

Baby Coupons this Week - July 27th

Here are the coupons I have found this week for baby items. Let me know if you have found any that might be helpful.

Huggies Diapers - $4.00 off any 2 packages of Huggies

Walgreens Well Beginnings Baby Wipes - $1.00 off 216 count or larger

Dreft Laundry Detergent - $2.00 off 1

Gerber Graduates - $2.00 off 6 Geber Graduate Grabbers

Similac Formula - $2.00 on large powder

Suave Kids Hair Products - $1.00 off 2

Beach-Nut Naturals Baby Food - $1.00 off 3



Happy Savings!

My Advice for Moms of Pregnant Teens

So, your teenage daughter is pregnant (or your teenage son will soon be a dad), now what?

First things first, just breathe. It’s going to be ok, or it’s not. Having a fit and coming unhinged changes NOTHING. The only thing you have control of is your attitude. That’s it. Nothing else.

So, here is my non-professional advice once you find out your teenager is having a baby:

1.       Shut up and listen. I am a planner and a talker and a fixer. But I really needed to listen to what the Princess was feeling. I needed to hear what she had to say about all of this. This was not my story, this was hers. The only way I could know what she needed from me, was for her to tell me. Teens aren’t very good at sharing to begin with. If you are doing all the talking, you are never going know what’s going on in that head.

2.       DO NOT say hurtful things. If you already did, apologize. Telling her she is stupid or irresponsible, or inconsiderate, or a disappointment, or a whore or slut or a million other terrible things changes nothing. She is still your daughter and she is still pregnant. You being pissed and saying hurtful, unnecessary things won’t make her less pregnant. It only destroys your relationship with your child.

Of course, you are upset and there are things you need to say. Say them privately to someone who you trust to not say anything. Talk to your spouse or a therapist or your friends. Just be sure that you don’t allow your child to hear you vent. What you feel in the heat of the moment may be completely different than what you feel when you have had time to think about it.

3.       Be prepared for the judgment and negative talk. This is especially true if you live in a small southern town. Regardless of her decisions or your support or lack thereof, someone will disagree with you. They will say you are making bad choices. Their kids can no longer hang around with your kids (apparently pregnancy is contagious or something). It will be heartbreaking, but you will survive. Do not let other people’s opinions make your choices. Do not let someone’s negativity steal your joy. It’s not fair to you, your children, or your future grandchildren.

4.       Have the difficult talk early. The one where you discuss adoption, abortion and all the options. This is not a fun talk. Realistically, teens are not emotionally mature enough to make these decisions. You have to be there to talk to them and explain all of the options and consequences of each of those choices. Abortion is not an option for our family, but it was a question I asked anyway. The reality is, it isn’t my choice. It’s not my body or my future or my heartbreak. Thankfully, it wasn’t the choice she made. Neither was adoption.

Once you have had the conversation and your daughter has made a choice, it is time to talk about things like school, doctors, college, and future plans. Have these talks early and often. Things are constantly changing and plans can be adjusted, but communication is a must. Pretending like she’s not pregnant for 9 months doesn’t help anyone.

This journey is going to be a tough one. There are so many options and opinions and choices that it can make your head spin off. There are hormones and mood swings and fear and anxiety. Your world will be turned upside down. If you decide to love your daughter or son through this, it will work out. There will be heartbreak and you will grieve for the childhood that is lost; but you get to watch your young lady grow into a mother. You will have an opportunity to experience a great blessing that each child is.

And if you decide that you want to disown your kid and kick them out, please know that I think you are a piece of shit. Just wanted you to know. J

Linked up at the Following Blogs:

This Momma's Rambling - Turn it Up Tuesday
A Momma's Story  - Momma Moments Monday